3 reasons why you suck at not knowing
Have you ever found yourself really frustrated with a situation in your life, albeit career, your love life or any situation where you didn’t know what to do? Your mind is racing because it’s telling you, YOU SHOULD KNOW and you really just don’t?
Two weeks ago that was me- as an entrepreneur I am constantly looking to improve my business, find my flow, ignite my soul with things that I am passionate about and bring you my very best. I found myself in major self-doubt, worry and just not knowing what to do next in my business. As a manifesting generator I get lit up by A LOT and am a multi-passionate individual and sometimes that can be overwhelming and confusing.
So, I found myself asking “what the F am I doing in my business?” and feeling really sh*tty about myself and my path- I stumbled upon a webinar called “The Art of not Knowing and not needing to know” from the Embody Lab and it was the universe’s way to remind me - to trust the process. So I did and I want to share with you why you, me, and all of us suck at not knowing.
#1- We have been conditioned to KNOW
It didn’t surprise me to learn that we have been conditioned as a society from the moment we get into the schooling system and before that to know is to move on and get to the next level. If you think about it, why do we have tests? To be tested on our knowledge and rewarded to know to then be able to pass to the next level. You can’t NOT KNOW in school- you have to know to reach success or you are considered a failure.
So when you come across a situation in life you feel you SHOULD KNOW what to do you are essentially conforming to a system that's built on knowing. It’s a systemic problem not a YOU PROBLEM specifically.
#2- Our minds do not like the unknown
Our minds like what’s familiar and absolutely detest the unfamiliar, that’s why you catch yourself in repeated patterns and habits because that’s how the brain on a simplified level knows and likes to operate. Our brains operate mostly either in the past (what we know) or future (what we don’t know) and it takes intention to be in the present moment of not knowing and being OK not knowing. Our brains also operate on repetitive learning, so the more you allow yourself not to know the more familiar you get with the feeling of not knowing.
#3- We have forgotten how to be curious
If you constantly know everything then you are closed off and not open to possibilities, opportunities and curiosity. Curiosity is one of my top 5 strengths and in that moment of not knowing I completely forgot to use my curiosity to ask better questions and to be curious about how I got through past experiences like this one. The act of curiosity is such an amazing virtue- to come back and be open and honest with yourself to not have the answers but to explore solutions and options to find them or have them come to you.
There’s magic when you can accept what is and be open to not knowing and not needing to know. It builds trust in yourself, in the process of life and truly surrendering to the possibility of what you are capable of and what the universe is trying to show you. You are doing yourself a disservice by knowing all the time, you are blocking yourself from your manifesting powers and thinking like you should have it all together.
It was after this amazing webinar that I started reflecting on other times in my life where I felt lost, full of doubt and frustration and remembered all the times that I got myself out of it by being curious, being open and less hard on myself and building trust with myself and the process.
And BAM - that’s when it started to flow back again and major insights, revelations and belief I was on the right path with my business and the universe was leading me to where I am today - helping you connect with yourself and your emotions through wellness experiences, retreats, teachings and somatic healing.
Check out my latest Pop Up Sweat Spa November 21st at the Healing Studio in Toronto to truly surrender to relax into the not knowing and not needing to know and give your body that moment of calm and healing it so deserves. CLICK HERE for details!