You don’t need to strive to be whole because you are and always have been whole.
I only recently discovered my wholeness and it was through the depths of my shadows, the ugly crying on my partner’s chest, questioning my purpose, my worth, feeling all my core wounds of rejection, abandonment and not feeling accepted that I discover the TRUTH:
I am whole even in my shadows
I recently did a survey on my stories and asked you if you thought you were already whole or had to work on it and the results didn’t surprise me too much:
31% I am Whole
69% I need to work on it
I look at wholeness in a similar way that I look at manifestation and the myths of manifestation specifically. The most common myth when we are starting to manifest is to embody the idea that “When I manifest X, then I will be happy.” It’s from a place of getting instead of becoming.
To me this is the same notion with wholeness, “when I learn this or overcome that THEN I WILL BE WHOLE.”
I, now after 5 years of my self-love and wellness journey can look at wholeness from a holistic perspective looking at all parts of myself. The good, the ugly, the trauma, the gifts and skills, the love, etc.
And have realized when we look at ourselves from this holistic (whole person perspective) we can see that every part of us is interconnected and has a purpose, a story and a reason for being there. Something to teach us or remind us about our wholeness.
BUT we live in a society that from the moment we are born tell us that we are not good enough or worthy unless we change ourselves from where we are right now.
I mean when we are dating we are taught to find “someone to complete us” which essentially tells us that we are not complete and half a person until we find another half person to make us whole. Again something outside of ourselves to make us whole. URRRRGGGG NO THANKS!
You can be whole and have trauma
You can be whole and learning to change
You can be whole and want more
You can be whole and be grateful
You can be whole and not know
You can be whole and feel depressed
You can be whole and be a perfectionist
You can be whole and be angry
You can be whole and be calm
You can be whole and want to be successful
You can be whole and not feel loved
You can be whole and feel light
You can be whole and feel heavy
In the psychospiritual world, wholeness means that you bring unity to all parts of yourself.
In my experience, wholeness is the acceptance of self in its entirety and all of its parts. It's about accepting yourself as a whole being, having human experiences, emotions, thoughts, feelings, triggers, trauma and accepting “what is” meaning your reality as it is now.
It’s fully embracing the integration of the many parts of yourself and befriending your shadow, shame, perceived imperfections and feelings about yourself.
If you don’t feel whole THAT’S OK! The worst is when someone tries to tell you something that you haven’t learned yourself through your own process and experience. And are not ready for- I GET IT!
I invite you on your journey to unifying in your WHOLENESS with these practices:
Start with SELF-LOVE
Practicing Self-Love is the first portal to wholeness and like many skills is a practice. It takes time, effort and will and with simple practices can shift your perspective on yourself.
Some practice of Self-Love:
Affirmations
Sleep Hypnosis on Self-Love
Writing an accomplishments list
10 Things I love about myself
Mirror Work
Self-Compassion
Connect with Your Inner Child:
Inner Child healing is such a powerful integrative modality that helps you as an adult connect with your younger self. It’s a practice that acknowledges both the joys and pain of our childhood and how it might be showing up in our present life. It’s a tool that gives us the time and space to give our inner child the voice, love, attention, validation that it is seeking.
Ways to connect to your Inner Child:
Journal Prompts
Visualization Meditations
Write your inner child a letter
Enjoy activities you loved as a child
Talk to a Therapist
Get to know Your Shadow Self:
Our path to becoming or remembering that we are whole is through some of our greatest pain and what we hide from others and most of all hide from ourselves. It’s the parts of ourselves we ignore or are not even conscious of. By getting to know your shadow it allows you to understand yourself better.
Ways to get to know your Shadow Self:
Pay attention to your triggers
Journal about your emotional reactions
Express yourself through Dance
Practice Guided Breathwork
Learn about Shadow Work
Get Support from a Guide, Therapist or Practitioner
So if you’re reading this and don’t feel whole, give yourself permission if that feels comfortable to you to invite all parts of yourself around a bonfire and get to know each part, their stories, their unmet needs, their achievements, their pain, trauma and shame without judgement, without trying to fix, heal or let go but from a place of understanding, listening and acknowledgement.
Because when you give permission to accept all parts of yourself is when the integration to feeling whole can begin (and/or continue.)
Want to explore your Wholeness and become present in your body? Join me and the Lunar Loves for Expressive Embodiment: Full Moon in Leo Workshop Tuesday February 15, 2022 from 7 PM- 9 PM- LEARN MORE
PS- Get a discount with the link above for your Expressive Embodiment Experience!